Time for a little transparancy here. I have not been doing everything I can to lose weight and get into shape. I talked to Sloan Sunday like I didn't have a clue why I was having such a long plateau, and told her then that I needed to chart my food intake for a couple of days anyway. She wanted me to send it to her, and I did. I went from Sunday to Tuesday and what I saw as I did that just blew me away! I've not heard back from her, but do I really need to? Sunday alone, I took in a tremendous amount of calories. Lets just say I won't be getting Sonic's Steak and Egg burrito again anytime soon. What happened to me? I had been doing so good.
Laziness is what happened. I let my guard down and I have been fortunate not to have paid for it worse than I am. So, time for an overhaul. Top to bottom. Going forward, I track everything that goes into my mouth - only exceptions, water and meds. Water's free and meds are kinda necessary. I may not like what I see but until I get back to being hyper-aware of what I am doing, I can't fix it. So, onward from here.
Something else I realized while I was watching those video clips was something I kinda hinted at when I ran the Zoo Run a few months ago. I watched people coming across the finish line who had given it their all. The guy who had to crawl across the finish line at Canberra in 2010, the 1992 finish of Derek Redmond after his hamstring snapped, a video of Sarah Reinertsen talking about her first attempt at Kona and her return with her bike, Unfinished Business, The video of the two women, Sian Welch and Wendy Ingraham, fighting to finish in 1997 at Kona and falling, each of them standing up again and trying to take a step and then falling again, finally crawling across the finish line. These scenes told their stories. These are people who gave EVERYTHING in them to finish their races. They didn't give up, no matter what the odds, no matter what the pain. They gave it their all.
When I ran the zoo run, I'd been training for the Rt66 Half and I was very disappointed that I had not run a better race, that I had not given my all in the race. I could have done better and should have, the way I feel about it. Somewhere, somehow, I didn't pour everything I had into it. And I knew I had wanted to. Why not? I am not sure, at least not yet. But I do know that I WANT to pour everything into my races. I WANT to be like that guy whose legs just gave out and couldn't walk anymore. I WANT to be like those girls who tried so hard, not once, but several times to stand and cross the finish line on their feet but couldn't. I WANT to be like Derek Redmond and just give my all to JUST FINISH, no matter the pain. I can't explain it but something deep inside wells up at these thoughts!
So, the complete overhaul begins. Because I can't bear the thought of going through all of this and not give it my all.
I want to say that Sloan did contact me, just about an hour after I posted. She and I are working together to fine-tune my diet and get things going in the right direction.
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